Personal space is that invisible but very real area we cling to, fight for, and determinedly call ours. Given my interest in people, I love to watch as those individual personal "bubbles" nudge up against others spaces. Sometimes it is neatly done and all parties are pleased. Other times it is akin to a pirate raid complete with plunder and pillage. To be sure, it is immensely challenging to navigate those invisible lines as we cruise through our day. Some people don't mind "up close and personal", while others prefer a solid 5 foot distance between the two of you! So it requires attention and thoughtfulness on our parts.
Nowadays, we are calling this “social or emotional intelligence”. However this skill is anything but new. Jesus was a master at it years ago. Turn to the gospels and watch him field the subversive questions of an envious Pharisee (Mt. 22). Stand amazed as he addresses a hostile crowd determined to kill an adulteress (John 8). Better yet; watch his emotional intelligence create a life-changing moment with a black-listed woman at the well (John 4). While this kind of work is challenging it is not impossible for us to follow Christ’s example.
Personally, I keep an acronym in mind that helps me carefully step into another’s personal space.
Here it is:
S-Step in gently…watch for signs that tell you are welcomed…or not!
P-Personal presence. Ask yourself what does your presence do to another person’s space? For example people are not that excited about hanging around worry warts.
A-Authenticity. People read “fakes” quickly.
C-Clarity. My business tagline is “helping people think clearly about their relationships”. Who doesn’t want some help about that these days?
E-Empathy. Jonathon Edwards once said, “I’d rather be understood by five people than be applauded by five thousand”. To have someone “get us” feels good.
Try applying these practices to your personal encounters today.
